The ABC of moving on.

We already know that it is only possible for our brain to focus on one thing at a time. While we are focusing on fear, worry or hate, it is not possibe for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love. As time passes, we seem to sometimes find it easier to stay in the current situation, same frustrated relationship, boring & unfulfilling job.

True career transition starts with figuring out what you are suited for and growing in that area. 87% of people hate their job, at the same time they hope they don’t get fired. That’s what you call mixed emotions.

Einstein said ‘if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid’.

What’s your talent stack?
As I study the future of work and its impact on humans, it is evident that most of us who have another 10 years or more left in the workplace will end up in a different job. For some of us, it will be easy to learn, relearn and unlearn. For others it will be a task that will require some help.
Having gone to an extensive amount of transition in my last 20 years, I have had to develop specific skills in order to move on. There is a saying ‘if you don’t move on, life will move on you’. This is specially true in many industries. The other day I saw a horse carriage with two people riding on the road in Southampton-Botley. A reminder that when the model T came out, it took only two years for Henry Ford to widely spread the car across the world, that was back in 1927 .
Makes you wonder how much faster can a car driven by technology take. We now know of Wagon in Arizona who has been successfully testing autonomous cars since October 2017.

So, it is becoming more evident that we will all need to move on, whether we like it or not. If you have been hurt and burned before should not restrict you to move on. I could have on many occasions let my present circumstance dictate my future. 2001 was a hard decision to leave my family, my full time job and my country to move into an unknown territory to better my education.
I have since then done this over and over again because I know I have a compass and a road map, whether it is for my personal life or for my business. Avril Owton MBE, once said, ‘business is like dancing, you cannot stand still, you have to keep moving.’ Avril was a Tiller girl who became a business leader. The same is true in your professional life. I have learned the ABC of moving on. These are the top three reasons mostly that stop people from moving on.

A is for attached to our past. This is based on our generations and experiences. You see, it is never easy to let go of a past relationship, previous colleagues or failed careers. But it’s an important step to let go so you can move on.
B is blinded by the present. I see that all the time and most people are so busy by it. You get up in the morning and the first thing you do is check your mobile phone, worse yet if you check your work emails! Peer pressure is not something only kids face. Throughout our entire lives we deal with peer pressure. Some of the most destructive forms of peer pressure are those that cause us to “fall in line” by living a life of accomplishment far below what we are capable of. This is part of Abraham Maslow’s “love needs” which is right after safety needs, in the middle of the hierarchy. We are losing time to things that we don’t have time for and neglecting to pay attention to where our life/career is going.
Finally C is confused by the future. This is very possible. The news, the media always sells you a negative image that will either scare you or allow fear to penetrate you. For some people, negativity, fear & being overwhelmed can make them confused to take any decision. As we know, not making a decision is making the decision of not deciding.

Here are 3 steps for you to be able to move on:

Have all the facts & evidence of the past situation clearly laid out, this may well be very emotional and could require the services of a psychologist or close friend. So if you are stuck by your past, ask yourself- ‘is feeling this way doing me any good?’. Talk to someone you trust.
If your present is not visible and you are in the midst of a cloudy situation, I recommend a coach or a friend. Someone who can help you on your present journey by translating the situation. For example, Raphael Nadal will have up to 7 coaches for each part of his life and he is a top tennis performer. In the US military, a top senior officer will also have a coach.
Lastly, remain focused on your purpose and life. When your mind is preoccupied with more important thoughts, such as your life purpose, it is much easier to see the future self. Finding a mentor if your future is unclear or you want to go somewhere but don’t know how to get there can also help. A mentor is someone who has been there, who is able to share the known unknowns, the routes & challenges.

One of the exercises we do in the Leavers to Leaders programme is discovering the mountain of value you are already standing on or simply sat on. Most of our participants end this day realising the power they have, how unstoppable they are.
Your education does not stop when you finish school, you don’t stop learning to drive once you have your driving licence. If you are not developing new skills every year, then you are most likely stuck in the past. Spending time adding new skills to your belt will put you way ahead of your competition and ready for the future.

All of the above come under mental limits and the easiest way to overcome mental limits we impose on ourselves is to take ‘baby steps’. Break the changes down into manageable targets that you believe 100% in your mind you can reach.